esskay
![]() Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009 || 11:59 PM
This is what's been on the brain as of late, for some odd reason. I remember every first kiss I've ever had, what I felt before and the feelings that came afterward. So I decided to write a little poem about it. Be warned, I'm hardly a poet so this "poem" might actually suck. The feeling was anticipation. I know you want to kiss me; I know you're going to kiss me. Maybe I should turn away. Kinda nervous cause I'm new to this. What if I totally suck? It's ok, because you'll still like me. And now you're kissing me and I'm still nervous. How can I be nervous about kissing you while actually kissing you? Doesn't make much sense. And now you're not kissing me but I wish you still were… The feeling was one of avoidance. Avoid at all costs, put it off til another day. But I do care about you, not as much as you care about me but I'll get there. You kissed me and now it's over. Fast and painless like ripping off a band aid. Didn't like the way that felt. In some small way I kinda regret it, regret what we have, if we have anything. This doesn't feel real… The feeling was anxiousness. We've played this cat and mouse game for way too long. And even though I know you don't deserve me, part of me still feels you. If you were a better man, I would have been yours. And now you're asking me to do what I've wanted to do for a while. And now you're making a move and I'm smiling. And you're smiling and we're smiling. And I'm acting like nothing is different when really, I know I won't be able to stop thinking about you. I regret it already… The feeling was discomfort, swiftly followed by surprise. Not emotional discomfort, physical discomfort. I wonder if you'll kiss me if I turn around. But I'll really be more comfortable if I do so I will. And now we're having a nice conversation and I can see your handsome face. And now you're kissing me. Totally caught off guard but I like the way it feels to be in your arms. So I'll stay here for as long as I can… The feeling was bittersweet anticipation. I've wanted this for a while and now you're telling me that it's ok because you've wanted it too. And I know you've wanted it because I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. So I'll let you in, just this once. You kissed me and I felt a sigh of relief. We finally let go, and it felt really good. Wish I could be with you again… Labels: in real life, personals |