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esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Saturday, March 13, 2010 || 4:53 PM
Dear Sean,It's been two months, one week and five days since you've been gone and I haven't stopped missing you once. I know you'd think that's like the gayest thing I've ever said to you but under the circumstances, I hope you'll forgive me. Things are quite sucky without you. I'm somehow managing to alienate everyone in your absence. But I guess now that you're gone, someone has to take the job of being the black sheep of this family. I guess it was bound to be me as our dear brother has always been the golden child. Our mother is now focusing all of her energy into holding on to me for dear life which, in case you didn't know, means smothering the life out of me until my days (or hers) on this earth come to an end. It was bound to happen, but thanks for that. I'm sure you'd laugh at me if you were here. You always did enjoy laughter at my expense. The only non sucky thing that's happened since you left is the birth of your son. He's so adorable, you should be here to rough him up. It sucks that you never got a chance to see him, to know him or even just to hold him. And it sucks that he'll never know how cool his dad was. When he was first born, he looked like Dillon when he was a baby, just like Grandpa Salim. But now he looks like Danny's twin which, of course, means he looks exactly like you. Here's Junior:  And this is Danny at Junior's age (twins!) lol:  And here's Danny now (you'd really like this picture. I can just hear you laughing at how crazy he looks):  I'm really sorry about this past year. I know it's too late because you're not here. So hardy har har, joke's on me. Everyone was right and I was just too stubborn to see it. But that's just us. It's not like I was the only one who felt the way I did, mom's just a punk so she never said anything. You and I are a lot alike in that we always feel the need to prove a point. Well I still didn't prove that point. And now you're gone so that was actually rather pointless. But I'm trying not to think about it lest I lose my mind. So now I'm dating this new guy. If you were here, I probably wouldn't have told you about this because we never talked about things like this but it's weirdly relevant now. His middle name is Sean, he also has dreads and his birthday is 2 days before yours. Weird, huh? Also, his family is like ours, 2 boys and a girl. Except in his family, he would be Dillon and not you. But a lot of the times, when he speaks, he says things I could hear you saying. It's so weird. He reminds me a lot of you. Now more than ever because he's in a place in his life where things kinda suck and I can't help him. You were in that place for about 5 years and no matter how much I always wanted to help you, I was always too small, too young, too naïve. It's very frustrating but I guess if he's as much like you as I think he is, he'll be ok. I really miss you Sean. There are so many things that I would say to you if you were here. Some days I almost feel like you're coming back and I'll have to fill you in on everything you missed. And then reality hits me and I realize you're not coming back. But even though you're not coming back, I hope I'll see you again one day so that I can apologize for being so stubborn. And then we can pick up where we left off in being the only 2 people in this screwed up family that's in our right minds. I can't wait to see you again. I love you and I still miss you jerk. Love, Sasha Labels: friends and fam, personals |