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esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Thursday, April 29, 2010 || 4:47 PM
Today makes exactly four months since you left us and since then, not a day has passed by that I haven't thought about you. Much has happened since I last wrote to you but you never saw that letter and you'll never see this one, so now I'm starting to think this is rather pointless. However, I'll continue because let's face it, you know I have nothing better to do and you were on my mind anyway so…*shrug*. Honestly, the fact that you're gone still isn't real to me. Every time I think about you, I think that you went away on some extended vacation and I'll have to fill you in on everything you've missed. And in a way, I guess that's true because hopefully, we'll be in heaven together one day and I can tell you everything I've wanted to say to you since you've been gone. I can only hope. So your wonderful wife (you sure do know how to pick 'em) has taken off with my nephew who I've only seen twice since his birth. He will be 3 months old on Saturday and I wish I had a picture to show you how much he's grown but as you're wife has kidnapped him, there's no picture. WOMP! Better luck next time, I guess. I actually wanted to write something dedicated to you on your birthday but somehow, the words just wouldn't come. They still won't but I guess that's appropriate as you're not here to hear them anyway. I know I'm just rambling and not really saying much but that's just because I wish you were here so I could talk to you in person and see the goofy smile on your stupid face. But you're not here and no matter how much I hope and pray and wish, that's not going to bring you back. It also won't turn back the hands of time so that I could rectify my stupidity or yours. But as sure as I know that, I wish I could stop dwelling because at the end of the day, even though we were two stubborn asses, I know that you love me and I'm sure you know that I love you too. I wish I could stop crying because I know you were never the type of guy who would allow people to be sad and depressed as long as you were around. And even now, I can just picture you slapping the tears out of my eyes the way you once slapped a tooth out of my mouth. I (obviously) can't make any promises and it may not seem that way but I'm really trying. The effort in staying happy while you're not here takes a lot out of me but I am making the effort. I just hope you're proud of me because every day, I live my life with life with everything you taught me and everything you instilled in me in the front of my mind. I'm trying to learn from your mistakes and mine too and I'm not perfect but I should hope that I'm a better person because of you. And that's more than I could have ever asked of you. I love you and I still miss you punk.Love, Sasha  Labels: friends and fam, personals |