Remember Alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day? Imagine Alexander was a grown up with problems beyond tripping over skateboards and Lima beans for dinner. Now multiply his terrible horrible no good very bad day by about five. You now have a vague idea of what my week looked like.
I can't really get into everything that's made this such a terrible horrible no good very bad week because it's so deep and personal but there is one thing I can talk about.
Brooklyn. Not my beloved hometown but a friend who became family. Brooklyn was my brother in-law's pit bull. And I know people have this notion of pit bulls being evil or whatever but she was the sweetest dog I've ever known. Whenever I was in town visiting my sis and the fam, she'd follow me everywhere. She'd get so excited when she saw me looking around the house because she knew it meant I was close to finding her leash and she was close to freedom. She used to love the long walks we went on because I'd stop to let her sniff every bush til she was satisfied. She'd even sleep at the end of my bed like she was protecting me. Whenever there was a suspicious noise in the night, she'd raise her head and look back at me, and then she'd go investigate. Usually, she'd come back with the perp in tow (kimchee, the cat). But she was always there. I always thought of her as my dog too. Especially after my bro told me I could have her if ever I had the space (not sure if you've noticed but NYC isn't exactly big on huge lawns for animals to run around). Now she's gone. And I know people die and dogs die and that's part of life but I don't think it's a part I'll ever get used to. It's weird to think that I'll wake up and she won't be sitting at the patio door waiting to be let outside or that I'll be making sausages and she won't run upstairs at the sound of the sizzle. And because she's a dog, does that make it any less of a tragedy than if she were human? She was part of the family just the same. I don't know if it does. And I don't know if that's right. But I know I'll miss her.