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esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Saturday, December 15, 2012 || 12:01 AM
Silence.I'm at a loss for words. There are so many things I want to say, so many things I could say but I can't even know where to begin. This is always the hardest time of year for me. For those of you who don't know, the end of this month will make three years since my older brother passed away. And I feel like I always say this but I keep thinking things will get easier or that I'll miss him less but it never happens. I'm usually good at suppressing unpleasant experiences. I deal with things by not dealing with them at all, shoving them into a place in the back of my mind until they eventually disappear. And when they do disappear, I'm over it. But I guess something this big will never disappear, which is why I keep trying to close the door on that little space in the back of my mind and it keeps bursting open like an overstuffed closet. I have no words for the senseless violence that occurred earlier today in Connecticut. I can't begin to imagine what those left behind must be feeling. I keep thinking about the pain of losing my brother but that's hardly the same thing. It can't be compared to imagining my five year old nephew going to school one day and never coming back and imagining the last things he must have heard and seen and felt. Just thinking about it is bringing tears to my eyes, I doubt I could live through it if it actually happened to me. I don't know what else to say. I want to pray for them but in the midst of this silence, all I can do is cry for them. God help us all. Labels: in real life, personals |