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esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Thursday, August 27, 2009 || 10:05 PM
things that annoy me...where to begin? there are oh so many. some are kind of big and some are pretty trivial but if you want to stay on my good side, this is useful information.1. hair in places it doesn't belong...eww. hair belongs in one of two places: on your head (or somewhere on your body) or in the trash. when it falls off of your head (or your legs or your chest or wherever), it doesn't belong on the floor or in the sink or in the toilet or in the bathtub or the shower or on the bed, it belongs in the trash. hair anywhere else is just gross. get it together and clean up after yourselves people, sheesh! 2. toothpaste tube...you already know. so today i walked into my bathroom and found a lovely surprise. my mother has a habit of coming to use my toothpaste just to annoy my life. you would think that she would leave it the way that she found it but no0o0o0o, she has to do things her way. not only does she squeeze the tube from the middle, she leaves the cap in a gooey toothpastey mess. can you blame me for walking into the bathroom and screaming "why must this woman ruin my life and my toothpaste?!"? seriously, where's the logic in squeezing the tube from the middle?? now that's just more work to do when there's not much left, whereas you could've squeezed it from the end, rolled up the tube and made everyone's life just a little bit better. is that too much to ask?? 3. people strolling in front of me when i'm in a rush...nuff said. i don't know if it's just me but every time i'm in a hurry there's always one moron who wants to go for a pleasant (however excruciatingly slow) walk, just to take in the scenery. really?? must we do this when i have places to go? i don't mind that you want to take a walk. walks are nice and walking is good exercise. but will you just move the hell outta my way?? not only do you feel the need to do the funeral march, but then you want to take up the entire street like you're Jesus or something. sorry to burst your bubble but you're not all that important so just step aside so i can be on my merry way. GAWSH! 4. liars...do you smell smoke? i hate every kind of liar with the exception of people who lie so as not to hurt the feelings of others. i still think you should tell the truth, but i can at least understand that. however, all you other dishonest bastards suck. pathological liars are the worst. they just lie with no rhyme or reason and worst of all, no shame. and then when they get caught, they lie some more. it's like, do you know what the truth looks like? have you ever seen or heard of it before?? because all you do is lie, so i was just wondering. but seriously, don't lie to me. i'm a big girl, i can handle the truth. what i can't handle is the lie because when you lie to me, you take away my choices and that's not cool. the truth shall set you free. 5. double standards...whoa. also known as hypocrisy, this lovely character trait pops up in people everywhere. i think people should mean what they say and say what they mean. you've probably already guessed as much by now but i was always one of those kids who had a problem with the saying "do as i say and not as i do". i don't like two-faced people. why should i have to deal with your schizophrenia? mind you, i probably didn't like the first face so much and now i have to deal with another one of your faces, it's exhausting. if you're one of these people, just give me a heads up. like today i'm ben, tomorrow i'll be bob. or you could wear name tags. or better yet, just stay the hell away from me. i'm sure you don't need friends, you have your split personalities to keep you company. 6. gossipmongers...yeahh pssst! did you hear? nobody likes you because you don't know when to shut the hell up. yeahh, that's what that feels like. get a life and stop living vicariously through others. you annoy everyone. so these are some of the things that irk my nerves. don't do 'em and we'll get along great. everybody has flaws but that's no excuse to be a sucky person. =) Labels: babble and rant |