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esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Tuesday, March 8, 2011 || 10:00 PM
You ever hear someone say "I'm turning over a new leaf"? I'm about to have a whole tree out this bitch. But in all seriousness, life is an unremitting learning experience. Every day you experience something new, you learn something new, even if it’s the minutest thing you could possibly learn. Maybe something useless like how to tie a box knot. I learned that one from my good friend and Pathfinder director (sir yes sir) Andrew Hutch sir! That’s his full title, in case you were wondering.Anywhoo, the past year (and some months) has been a huge learning experience for me. I try to live my life with no regrets and at (almost) 23 years old, I only have one. My one regret is not speaking to my brother before he passed away. Today is his birthday and I miss him more than I can find suitable words to say. But since he’s been gone, I’ve had a lot of life lessons. Some were good, some not so good and I guess as my oldest brother, always looking out for me, he tried to shield me from the evils of the world. And even though he would’ve never been able to shield me from them forever, even if he were still here, the only thing that tells me is that he would have been a fantastic father. But we won’t get into that because today, on my big brothers birthday, I would much rather laugh than cry, just like I would if he was still around. SO…moving right along. There are some men in the world who are the absolute scum of the fucking earth. Excuse my French. And the key word here is SOME so just calm down with all of your “but there are trifling women too…” arguments. I’m well aware of that. But that’s a story for another day. So here’s my thing: a man can be sweet as pie. Open your doors, pull out your chairs, rub your back and kiss you in all the right places…and then tomorrow, when you go to school/work/the dentist, he’ll go ahead and bone everything he sees with legs. All the while, putting on an Oscar worthy show, acting like he really cares about you. If you’re reading this and this man sounds like you, let me just share a little tidbit with you: THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR YOU SIR. But I digress. As for the women who are with these men, let me just say this. You stay with him through all the drama and try as he might to hide it, most liars are as dumb as bricks. That’s actually kind of an insult to bricks though but back to my point. He can’t hide it so it’s right in front of your eyes. Different women calling his phone every day, every time you go out together, you bump into another one of his side chicks trying to start drama and then his “other woman” might just show up at his door while you’re at his house. And what do you do? You get at all these random women, feed into the drama, try to fight all of them for what’s supposedly yours. But if you’re going hard for a dude with six other bitches, chances are, you’re not winning in any type of way. This man is playing you like a fiddle and will continue to do so because you’re a silly hoe who will stay with him no matter what bs he puts you through. Good luck with that one. I know that was completely random and kinda off topic but I had to spit a little knowledge and learn these youths before I get to my point. So now, my point…. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. When I say “I’m done” with complete conviction, please believe I’m not looking back. And I can safely say I’m done with all the bs of the past year. So here are my new leaves, in no particular order. I always say good things happen to bad people and while I never wish badly on anyone, I never wish good things for bad people. Somehow, it just keeps turning out that way. But I’ve learned that if you pray for people, friends and enemies alike, and you pray with a sincere heart for good things to happen to all of them, God will give them their just reward, whatever it may be. And He’ll do it on His own time. I’m not saying I’m going to pray for good things to happen to people I don’t like so that bad things will actually happen to them. The key words there are SINCERE HEART. So I’m going to ask God to give me a bigger heart than I have now. Because even though there are people I may not like or people who have hurt me in the past, I don’t want to want anything bad for them but at present, I don’t think I can do it on my own. Next, I’m going to start doing things for me and stop taking the safe road for others. I’m tired of this shit. It’s my life, I should at least be happy with the way I’m living it. So I’m gonna be as fabulous as I wanna be and screw whoever doesn’t like it. Also, I know I said I would never do this. But I’m gonna start working out. Nothing crazy, I’m just gonna get into yoga, get all flexy and stretchy and sexy in all the right places. And to whomever it may concern, well, eat your heart out. I’m finna party like it’s 2012. Labels: babble and rant, in real life, personals |