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esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Sunday, December 18, 2011 || 2:31 AM
It's hard to explain what prompted this particular rant without coming right out with the details so out of respect for all involved parties (ironically enough), I just won't. However, I feel the need to say this: I don't enjoy being disrespected. It's coming up on the two year anniversary of my brothers passing and if he taught me one thing, it was to never let people disrespect me. I always demand the respect of others, either by earning it or by giving it. I feel like I've written on the subject of respect before on numerous occasions but it just keeps coming up. Also, in light of recent events, I feel like I should expand on points I've made previously.Everyone goes through tough times. If you don't go through tough times, you're dead. And the struggles you have in life will obviously not be the same as everyone else's. Maybe it's the economy and what it's doing to your wallet and bank account. Maybe it's issues with family or maybe it's the loss of a loved one. My point is this: going through tough times doesn't give you the right to treat others like shit. I lost my brother two years ago. The person who I was closest to in the world, the only person who really understood who I was, is now no longer and there is not a moment of a day that goes by when he's not on my mind. I am literally always thinking about him and I am literally always sad. It takes everything in me just to get out of my house and see people and smile, really smile. It takes everything in me not to cry all the time. And I'm not saying I'm the unluckiest person in the word because in spite of all of that, I'm truly blessed. All I'm saying is that if I can have the strength to leave my house and put a genuine smile on my face through it all, there's nothing that excuses you from treating me with respect. And if you feel like there's a possibility that things may go someplace bad, know your limits, because I definitely did. When my brother passed, I only wanted the company of a few and even though I had it, I had never felt so alone in my life. I'm an easily annoyed person so when I felt myself going to a bad place, I isolated myself. I'd rather be alone in my misery than treat anyone anyway they don't deserve to be treated. Now I'm starting to feel like it's time for me to fall off again because I don't want to hurt anyone and I also don't want to get hurt. Some say it's worse to be alone in times of grief but as I find this time of year approaching once more, I crave solitude and the company of others only heightens that craving. In all honesty, I just want to see him. And if it's not him, I don't care to see anyone else, because no one else will understand. Labels: babble and rant, personals |