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esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Tuesday, March 27, 2012 || 10:12 PM
Have you ever done something selfless?I've been told that I'm selfless in the past. I personally haven't seen it because usually, there is some logic, warped or otherwise, behind everything I do. For instance (this is the only one that really comes to mind), my friends hate the fact that I'd rather suffer in silence than call them and let them be the shoulder I cry on. However, I do that because I know what I'm feeling and I'd hate for them to have to feel it too. It kills me to see them unhappy because I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do. Whereas if it's just me, I can eat a burrito, have a couple amaretto sours, blog it out and eventually, I'll be fine. Also, the fact that I'm usually good at suppressing unpleasant things helps because I can usually go through the process and my friends will (hopefully) be none the wiser. So you see, I don't really see that as selflessness and if it is, there's always a little selfishness in my selflessness. But recently, I've done something selfless. I know it's selfless because this time, there's no selfishness in it. I feel good about it. At the same time I feel absolutely horrible. I didn't even know that it was possible to feel both at the same time. I'm thinking this will take more than a burrito, a few drinks and me writing this now to make me feel better. Because I feel like I'm losing myself...and I guess that's why it's called selflessness. Labels: babble and rant, personals |