|
esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
agenda
musings
twitter
Tweets by @SaKePi
Banners
 blogwalk
|Alex|
|DS|
|Zoella|
|Meghan|
|CurlBox|
|Cass|
|TiKeDi|
|The Read|
|Infatuation|
|Negin| |
Tuesday, April 10, 2012 || 5:37 AM
Sometimes, you have to give up on people. Everyone in your journey is meant to be there, but not everyone is meant to stay.This is the last time I will address this and then I will be done with it. Because I am tired. Seriously freaking exhausted.
For the last 15 years, we have been friends. I know you better than I know most. And knowing you the way I do, I know that you've probably painted this picture to your friends and family that I'm acting like this crazy bitch. Well now...NOW? I'm gonna be that bitch. Because I'm tired of being falsely accused of being a bitch so why not make those accusations true, right?
For the duration of our friendship, I have watched you play victim like no other. On some occasions, I agreed with you (the case of your crazy ass older sister) and on others, I told you it wasn't that deep (the case of your friend in a new relationship. Haha, irony much?) but I never thought I'd be on the other side of it. So if you wanna play victim, I can play. Because since this silence between us has started, all of these questions keep floating to the front of my mind. The first, (and most obvious as he's all I think about) where were you when my brother died? You weren't at my house. Not at the church, not even at the cemetery. Hmm, that's strange. Here's another one. Where were you every. single. time. I was in the hospital? After my 2nd surgery? The week I spent in the ICU? Any of this ringing a bell? I can't even tell my other friends when I'm in the hospital because they borderline stalk my ass but you, who's supposed to be my best friend, you are always MIA. At the end of the day, I never brought any of this up because it doesn't matter. My burdens are my burdens and I would never ask anyone else to make them their own. But there are some people I never have to ask and I thought you were one of them. So woe-is-freaking-me! This whole victim act is tiring, I don't know how you do it.
I'm not gonna say our friendship was never real because I'd be lying. It was real and we had a good 15 years. If you were a dude, we'd be common law married. But these last few months have brought a lot to light and put a lot into perspective for me, not just in this situation but in general. So go ahead and tell your support system that I'm a bitch (because I am), that you've done everything in your power to fix this friendship (because we both know how true that is) and that you couldn't because of the whole me being a bitch thing (which is understandable). I honestly don't care anymore, let them hate me. In life, not everyone will love you and I'm okay with that. But I can say that I'm still blessed because the people that love me far outnumber the people that don't. I don't hate you and I honestly hope you're happy, V. I'm not mad, I'm just done.
Labels: babble and rant, in real life, personals |