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esskay
Digital storyteller, Photographic narrator, Hogwarts alum. In real life, I write things. I speak fluent sarcasm. I'm unintentionally funny. My favorite thing is food. Guac is life. I'm a fountain of the most random information. I'm pretty, only because it's weird to call oneself beautiful. I'm weird in all the good ways. I live in the greatest city on Earth. I was Sasha before Beyonce was schizophrenic. My life is stranger than fiction. But please, don't take my word for it. My pen is mightier than my sword. Instagram
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Wednesday, May 29, 2013 || 10:36 AM
"It's not that I don't trust people, I just have a strong belief in people's abilities to fuck everything up" -Ron DiasSomeone once told me that when you don't know what to do, you should do what you know how to do. So I'm writing. Because once again, life is throwing me a curveball when I clearly don't play baseball. Here's the gist of it: I'm tired of losing people. Not losing them to death. That sucks. A lot. But it's something I've unfortunately had to learn to deal with. No, I'm talking about losing people to life. People I could once talk to for hours who now, we barely make eye contact. It's really sad and it makes me sad, especially when I think about the possibility of it happening again because I know how much it sucks. The fact that it's happened twice in the last two years makes it that much more real and terrifying. If you don't learn from your mistakes, you're bound to repeat them but what if what you've learned isn't on the test? Are you destined to stumble through multiple choice, pretending to know the answers and dreading the failing grade you just know is coming? I hate that we have the ability to take something great and turn it to shit with our thoughts and feelings and whatever else. I wish life and more specifically, people came with signs that say things like "will make a good husband, go for it" or "afraid of commitment but can be an amazing friend, don't ruin it" or anything that would make us hesitate in doing the dumb shit we do that ultimately ruins great things. And trust, I'm guilty of it too. I had this friend in high school and I liked him so I told him. He turned out to be a jerk who tried to talk to me and my best friend at the same time. Maybe if I hadn't said anything, things would be different. But I think there's a lesson in this story. Because to this day, he and I are really good friends. And it wasn't a case of dumping my best friend to keep the douchy guy in my life because my best friend and I are closer than ever. Maybe if I hadn't said anything, things would be different. Maybe we wouldn't have gone through all the unnecessary bs that ultimately led to this awesome friendship. So maybe when we do dumb shit that ruins supposedly great things, it's actually just weeding out the people who are worthless from the ones who are worth keeping around, the ones who really care about you, no matter how ruined things may seem. So I guess now, it's just a matter of hoping that I've found someone worth the fight. And praying for a good grade. Labels: babble and rant, personals |