12/7 polaroid photo walk

12/8 festival of life

12/11 volez voguez voyagez

12/19 date night

12/23 christmas adam

Funnily enough, it was when I was listing all the ways that mother knows best that I discovered just how much my father has taught me. It might not seem like much but it's so, so important.

My father taught me basic first aid. How to clean and bandage a cut. There were times when I would come limping home, crying over a particularly gruesome injury. A fall off my bike, a bloodied up knee or elbow. And when that would happen, my dad would chuckle and say "well, it's gonna feel worse before it feels better" and I would grit my teeth and cry as the burning sensation of rubbing alcohol washed over my wound. But then relief would come. And my dad was always right about that. Things would suck. But they would always get better.

My dad taught me how to use a camera. It's easy to look at and see things on the surface but he taught me that I should have a unique view of the world. Try to see beyond what's in front of you. Look past the obvious. Look at it from another angle. My pictures aren't quite as good as his but I'm still learning.

My dad taught me how to decorate a Christmas tree. That may not seem like a big deal, especially not in the middle of June. But it's meticulous work and he taught me that if you're going to do something, do it right. Take your time. Show pride in your work. Lights first. Beads/tinsel/ribbon second. Ornaments last. Make it look good.

My dad taught me the difference between a phillips and a flat head screwdriver. He taught me how to use a wrench, what I might need pliers for. If something is broken, fix it. Don't wait for someone bigger or stronger. There may not always be someone around and you're just as capable. Have faith in yourself. He taught me that if I'm hanging something, I should always use a level. Things might look straight up close but it's not until you take a step back that you'll realize what a mess you've made. Do the work the first time around so you don't have to do it twice.

But one of the first and most memorable things my dad taught me was how to ride a bike. He taught me to keep my head up, let go of my fear and just keep moving. There's always a chance you might fall. But getting back up shows character. It shows that you're not willing to let fear control your life. So no matter how many times you fall, keep getting back up.

My father taught me five things. I'm sure there are others that I'm not remembering at the moment but he taught me five things that have stayed with me throughout my life. They don't seem like much but they are the reason I am who I am.

Another father figure, someone who was a father to me before he ever really became a father and before life took him away from me too soon, was my brother Sean. His life lessons were a little more literal though. He taught me to never beg for friendship. Anyone worth having in your life, you won't have to beg them to be there. He taught me to stay away from people who make me feel like I'm hard to love because the right person will get it. He taught me how to tell the difference between something worth fighting for and an unnecessary headache. He taught me how to make pancakes and brownies. He taught me how to be a decent human being, how to be there for others even when I can't figure my own shit out. 

It's so unfair that he was this role model for so many people and his son will never get to experience the kind of example he was to all of us. As much as I remember him, I can't replace him in his son's life, nor do I think anyone should. But a boy needs a father and no matter how much moms may do and how hard they work for us, they will never be able to fill the place of a father. So I'm glad my father is around to teach him the same five things he taught my brothers and I. Those little life lessons shaped us. And as small as they may seem, I don't know where or who I would be without them.