• When a woman says "I love you", the correct response is NOT "aww thanks!" If you say this, you're an asshole and should promptly kill yourself.
• Women don't like men that whine and complain more than they do. Grow up and man up, you're annoying.
• If you want me to be a lady, maybe you should act like a gentleman.
• A woman doesn't want a man she can walk all over. It's sad to say but nice guys almost always finish last.
• If you have a beautiful, good woman who does everything you ask and more and you still cheat on her, you're retarded and deserve every horrible thing that happens to you.
• DO NOT break up with a woman via phone call/text message/email/voicemail/facebook. Grow some balls and do it in person. You owe her that much. DO NOT brake up with a woman PERIOD if you were never dating to begin with. She will laugh at how pathetic it is that you actually thought you were more than just another insignificant man vying for her attention.
• If you look through a woman's phone without her permission, she's going to assume you don't trust her which will then lead her to ask herself what you're hiding. You should expect her to look through your phone, find out you've been texting you're skanky ex girlfriend and break your fingers so you can't do it again.
• There's an appropriate time and place for everything. For instance, if a woman is crying about, oh, I dunno, maybe her mother just died, it's definitely the wrong time to ask her when she's going to get started on dinner. Just saying.
• Don't assume that any and every time is the appropriate time to "get busy" with a woman. Especially if she had a long and tiring day at school/work/42nd street...offer to rub her feet before you offer to rub her boob.
• There's a certain etiquette that goes with social networking sites like myspace, facebook, twitter and whatever else is out there. First of all, if you don't acknowledge the fact that you have a girlfriend and proceed to pretend she doesn't exist, she will be angry. If a random chick says reckless things on your page and you don't address it, expect her to be pissed off. If she doesn't respond and waits to speak to you about it, consider yourself lucky. However, if she does respond and starts some drama, you walked right into that and can only blame yourself.
• When you ask a woman "what's wrong?" and she says "nothing" even though it seems like something, don't let your guard down just because she said nothing's wrong. You've screwed up and it's too late to fix whatever stupid blunder you've made. Just be prepared to feel her wrath because it's coming. You won't know when, you won't know where and it'll be when you least expect it.

Labels: babble and rant, listy